Author’s site: Larry Burington

2. Smiley – (Short Story) I can remember walking up to the entrance of my favorite grocery store and a man who was about the age of 30-to-35 exited the foyer. As he walked out, he greeted me verbally and with a sincere warm smile.

I noticed that under his well muscled right arm was one of the store’s small shopping baskets jammed full of steaks. The weight of the hand basket and its contents probably justified using a push cart. But this guy carried the thing across his forearm easily like my mother used to frequently carry her purse.

Mr. Smiley walked over to the curb and entered a car that had just pulled up and stopped; for someone in the back seat had been gracious enough to open the right rear door and then moved over to give Mr. Smiley plenty of room to get in quickly.

Before I could say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, the rear door was closing, and the older large four-door sedan began driving off quickly, but not quickly enough to burn rubber and draw attention to its exit. It did however leave something of a smoke screen behind which probably did not go unnoticed.

The store’s hand baskets don’t have TAKE ONE printed on the side of them; neither did I see a receipt for the purchase of the meaty goods in Smiley’s hand. And the steaks certainly weren’t bagged as they should have been.

While I was still standing outside of the automatic doors of the store’s foyer, it slowly occurred to me that Smiley’s greeting had not been sincere, but it was that of a thief possibly using a distraction. And I had missed my opportunity to memorize the getaway vehicle’s tag number, for it was now about a hundred yards away and within a few seconds of making a right hand turn onto a four lane highway.

If Mr. Smiley had been picking up a gift of nearly expired meat for the Rescue Mission in Panama City, Florida; he was headed in the wrong direction, and why did he leave with the store’s little green basket.

I’m not young enough or naïve enough to think that chasing after a moving car on foot is a good idea. And exactly what would I do if I caught the car anyway, bark and wag my tail; then knock on the window and tell the guy he forgot the ketchup?

There were at least three persons in that vehicle who thought they had a license to steal: the getaway driver, the door-person, and Mr. Smiley. Maybe they rationalized it because they were stealing from a store, not a person.

These persons would rationalize their behavior to avoid guilt; and they were most likely hungry. If they had been local, they would have known to go to the Rescue Mission, which was about a mile away, and they could have gotten a meal to eat for free. Moreover, they could have avoided offending the Lord God Almighty by stealing.

Albeit, the Rescue Mission probably would not be serving steaks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And a meal at the Rescue Mission has been known to cause a case of diarrhea or two; but not too often. I would stay away from the sandwiches that looked like they were made at Publix and had expired. The brown gooey looking lettuce and sliced tomatoes that look like they had rolled over and died is a giveaway.

There are consequences for eating out of date food sometimes, but stealing is a mortal sin. And the consequences for breaking one of God’s commandments deliberately and persistently is rejection of God’s love and grace, which will earn you a reserved spot in hell for all eternity; separated from God.

Anyway, if I continued to act like a big doggy and tore their car’s plastic front bumper off with my teeth, then I’d probably be the one getting arrested. So I settled on mentioning the event to one of the grocery store’s employees; and she acted like that sort of thing happened regularly.

I’m betting that when Smiley finally gets caught, he’ll be thinking about what he did wrong to get caught; not that it was WRONG-TO-STEAL in the first place. But judging from the contents of Smiley little green basket, he forgot the A1 sauce as well. He also gave God’s word no heed; big mistake as mentioned previously. Trading your soul for a meal or two is not an indicator of an intelligent person.

Next, let’s take a fun metaphorical look at Smiley’s relationship with the Lord God Almighty. If that intimate relationship was a plastic 5-gallon bucket with a matching lid; Smiley had just dropped his pants, squatted down, and took a dump in it. Then he stood up, turned around and relieved himself into the container as well.

Subsequently, after putting the plastic lid on his intimate relationship with God to keep the rising stench down; the stench probably continued to rise to the heavens anyway because he was most likely a habitual thief.

A thief is likely to run when no one is chasing him, at least while he is still breathing; but Smiley will never be able to outrun God’s judgment if he persists in offering up to God an odorous stench. And acting like an unethical atheist won’t keep the Lord from tossing him out with the dross; for the Lord spurns all who swerve from his statutes.

Hypothetically speaking, if Smiley persists in offending the Lord and fails to confess his guilt, while he is still able; then the judged worker’s union in hell, demons, will be permitted to lay out his soul on a warm rock slab. And Smiley will be paralyzed for the rest of eternity in discomfort, or worse.

I seem to recall that one thief, who was no longer able to run because he was nailed on a cross next to Jesus, admitted to his guilt and declared the innocence of Jesus Christ the Son of God. He also said: “Jesus, remember me when you enter upon your reign.”

That soul was found with Jesus a short while later in Paradise. I’m betting Smiley will get at least the opportunity to clean out his bucket before he dies too; at least I hope and pray so.

Psalm 100:4 embraces the penitent thief’s decision to defend the Son of God against those who riled him: Go within his gates, giving thanks. Enter his courts with songs of praise. Give thanks to him and bless his name.

Songs of praise and thanks to God, from a son or daughter, are what belong in an intimate relationship with the Lord God Almighty. Tossing a few gifts and good works into the relationship bucket doesn’t go unnoticed either.

Allegorically speaking, the plastic bucket will turn into sterling silver and become a vessel of honor, and a person will have treasure in heaven.

Then the Lord may possibly choose to respond to their love effort by fitting a pair of purely spiritual wings on their back; and then he proceeds to help them become aware of that unseen pleasure; albeit, only on a few rare occasions. And he may do so many years before a man’s or woman’s flesh falls away and then they must cross the river of death.

The favor of the flightless wings could possibly be a little reminder that the person is definitely among the called and belongs to Jesus Christ; assuming of course that they continue to walk the way of perfection.

And figuratively speaking from a spiritual perspective; they might want to keep in mind that if someone puts a natural honeycomb laden with honey in their right hand, God may then decide to put the natural honey bee that actually made the agreeable food into their left hand. Their reaction to the honey bee’s displeasure thereafter may be part of Purification Program 101.

And do remember that a man or woman of gentle speech is a great one; and please don’t go directing any anger or hate in the direction where a person should be expressing gentle love. Again, there is wisdom in keeping a mouth shut at the appropriate time; like maybe when a honey bee is dying slowly after leaving a stinger in a person’s flesh.

Similarly, I seem to recall finding a stone crab when I was snorkeling in crystal clear salt-water many years ago as a child; and that proved to be a very educational experience. I never tried to pick one up again. Nevertheless my finger, which suffered so much pain that day as it was crushed by a crab’s claw, still hates me; and that member of my body may be held accountable for hate one day.

The Lord gives his favors to those he chooses. So methinks that filling out a Special Favor’s Request form in triplicate and mailing it in to your local bishop is going to result in nothing more than your bishop wondering where on earth you got the form in the first place. Regular octane prayer, praise, and a sincere love effort mixed in with scripture study and obedience to God’s commandments is most-likely the best way to go; then in God’s good time…

Please note that an impenitent thief was nailed to a cross on the same hill as Jesus that day, and lacking in wisdom, he decided to rile the Son of God. And to him the Lord Jesus said nothing. And that is probably the impenitent thief’s part in heaven; nothing.